Are you a doormat?

This week’s blog was going to be about my interesting journey with web hosting companies; however it will have to wait to next week. At the moment the balance between giving and being a door mat has become a more pressing issue, and as parents we all are giving 24/7. However when it comes to giving to family, friends, our work and even charities, where is this invisible boundary between giving and being a doormat.

For some it is natural to want to give and help others. There is nothing wrong with being helpful or giving. Give when you can but make sure you value yourself by having boundaries.

Ask yourself these questions;

• Can I say no to people?
• Do I put my needs last?
• Do I set boundaries on what I can and can't do?
• Do I stick to the boundaries you have set.

• Do you find yourself in a pattern of working overtime without charging?

• Do you regularly give clients professional advice through having long conversations but not charging for your time?
• Do you charge low rates for your services despite consistently offering a good service?
• Does your giving, helping and/or unpaid overtime  infringe on time you could be spending on your own family, building your own business or looking after your own wellbeing?
• Do you find giving takes you away from focusing on your own priorities?
• Do people tend to take advantage of you?
• Do you find you are constantly doing favours for people and no one ever offers to help you?

Some of these things may happen in life, but if you have a habit of doing these things, they you are way undervaluing yourself. You are worth so much more.


So how you can stop being like a door mat and create boundaries in your personal and professional life?

Do not be afraid to say no. Most people will understand, especially good friends. If they do not, then remain firm yet assertive. The more you give in to people the more they will take advantage of you and it will become harder and harder for you to say no.

Before making any decision, ask yourself "Do I have the time, money or energy to help?" If you don't have the resources then the answer is no. By saying no, you are valuing and respecting yourself and your own family. I am sure people aren't going to go out of their way to compromise their own priorities, wellbeing, finances, families or businesses for you and I'm sure you wouldn't expect anyone to do that for you. So why would you put yourself in that position for others?

They say charity starts at home and so true. If you focus on your family, wellbeing and buisness, then you will truly be in a better position to give to others.

This was written by a recovering serial giver!


By Kym Presdee
Owner Work at Home Hub